Do I Really Need Therapy?
Your Comfort and Happiness is Worth Investing In
Today, I took one of my two dogs to the vet for her yearly exam and shots over at VCA University Animal Hospital in Tempe (they are between Southern and Broadway on Hardy, and I have been going there for the past decade for my dogs’ veterinary care). As Shadow was getting examined, I recognized a familiar skepticism creep into my mind when hearing about what preventative care was being recommended. Is it really needed if I don’t see any problems? Are they making up needs just to get more money out of me? She won’t die if she doesn’t get her teeth cleaned, so why spend the money?
I am familiar with that line of thinking because I hear it all of the time when people talk about mental health care. Many of us have been taught in some way that care is only needed if something is “really wrong”, and that we can forgo that care if we can survive without it. We might even believe that a certain amount of suffering is normal.
However, I love my dogs. I know they can survive without a bunch of preventative treatments, or dental cleanings, but how can I care for my dog’s quality of life? She knows nothing different than the life I have given her, so she wouldn’t show any discomfort unless it was significant. But I don’t want her to live in discomfort, she deserves better than that.
Now think, could you say the same for how you treat yourself? Do you deserve to live in discomfort? How are you caring for your own quality of life?
Not all of us have the privilege of being able to afford care, so there is no shame in having to prioritize what you can afford. However, many of us carry that mindset even when we have our basic needs covered. I have been there myself, and clearly, it still pops up from time to time. What amount of money would it take for me to feel safe enough to invest in my own comfort?
When I associate mental health with comfort, that is putting it lightly, but maybe I could deepen the value of therapy with a few other questions. How valuable is life if I can’t enjoy it? What am I working so hard for? What am I missing out on by putting my feelings on the back burner?
I would argue that feeling happiness is the whole point. You could sacrifice your happiness under the guise that it is to make someone else’s life better, but can they ever actually be happy knowing that’s how it happened? I imagine they would be filled with guilt and would then be faced with a burden of having to be happy in order to honor that sacrifice. Yet, one cannot feel happy when weighed down with guilt.
Let’s say that the people you sacrificed your happiness for never knew, and therefore couldn’t feel that guilt; I would say that is rare, even young children can tell. Would they even know how to stay in the moment and take happiness as it presents itself to them? Their role model never did, and so they may not even recognize moments of happiness, and it would pass them by. The sacrifice of happiness would be pointless, because it taught them to do the same. They need someone to teach them how to put themselves first, to actually embrace life and comfort.
So if it is hard to value your own comfort, take it as you teaching those you care about by example. Show them that there is no shame in caring for yourself and prioritizing happiness. The time, money, and effort you spend on yourself now has lasting impacts for generations. You are worth spending on. Happiness is worth it.
