Politics & Personal Values
Connecting Back to Generational Trauma and Inequities Produced by Past Systemic Policies
Today, being Election Day, has many people nervous about the direction our federal and local governments will head in. Therapists everywhere are hearing about election anxieties and can see the impacts of that uncertainty, even if our clients aren’t aware of it. We aren’t just witnessing the impacts though, we are also envisioning what will happen to the social fabric that surrounds us as people, feeling uneasy because it impacts us too.
Many therapists shy away from discussing politics, because we need to keep in mind our influence over people who see us, because people see a therapist when they are at their most vulnerable, and the process invites them to become even more vulnerable. However, in shying away from talking about politics, many people feel uncertain whether or not to trust a therapist. There are countless blogs, forums, Tik-Toks, and Reddit posts online where people share the feeling of betrayal they experienced upon realizing that their therapist held significantly differing political beliefs from them. This is why if someone asks me, in a consultation before our intake or in a therapy session, I will happily share with them.
I hesitate to name specific politicians that I do and don’t support online (I am happy to share specifics if asked 1-on-1) for a few reasons:
I value having an open mind, so new information could shift my opinions and may not be accurate over time
Tying myself to the strong feelings associated with controversial politicians feels unsafe as someone working in a field where people tend to displace a lot of strong feelings onto me
It distracts from the complexities of what I think and feel and allows someone else to speak for me - I prefer to speak for myself
However, I am quite comfortable saying online that:
I think each person knows themselves and their needs best, and they should have as much freedom as possible to choose the life they want to live, so as long as it doesn’t harm anyone else.
I think that if systems in place have created significant hardships for a person, then those systems have an obligation to help them out of it and care for their well-being. This goes for both government systems and social systems.
Equality doesn’t equity, and that I am in favor of efforts to make life more equitable. In fact, I could argue that many of the privileges that allow someone more to obtain more success were a result of past systemic policies that favored one group over another, therefore it falls back into the responsibility of the system to correct those hardships
I am adamantly against demonizing any group of people. No one group is to blame for the problems that exist, we are all just stuck in systems and processes that have been long cemented by unhealed generational traumas
If you thought these pictures of the Manna BBQ (there is one near Dobson Road and Southern Avenue, in Mesa 85202, just a few miles from my office) menu were random, think not! I wanted to make a point about one of the political opinions/values that I just shared. These pictures demonstrate a restaurant’s way of making sure that eating there is equitable, as some will eat more, some will eat less, but they are all adequately fed, and there is incentive to just order what you as a group will actually eat. In cultures where meals are a shared experience, this isn’t uncommon to see. One might even compare the meal sharing experience to how different cultures view their responsibility to care for the people they share their community with, with more collectivist cultures ensuring that everyone’s needs are met equitably. Political policies reflect these cultural values on a formal level.
Someone who orders less at Manna BBQ might feel upset that they are offsetting the restaurant’s costs by paying the same amount as someone who orders more, but I would then question, why don’t you get more for yourself then? Truly, with all sincerity, why not? This resentment tends stem from shame. Perhaps it was directed at you at one point, or you saw others shamed and you took on those shaming attitudes to avoid becoming a target. (If you think these feelings are about money - any chance you are resentful about your income not being equitable?)
These feelings towards “unfairness”, about having to support someone else who needs more than you do, can be related to some resentment for having to suffer in one’s past, and displacing anger about the unfairness of that past experience onto the person who isn’t having to suffer in front of you. It could have roots in religious values surrounding self-sacrifice, humility, and suffering. These feelings could be the result of ableism, fat phobia, racism, sexism, and classism, even if it is unbeknownst to the person feeling that way; by the way, these prejudices and biases influence us all at some level - being made aware of them just helps you to more actively decide what you believe and be intentional with your actions.
In what may have felt like a ramble, I wish to conclude with my wishes for how we can navigate politics in the therapy room. Politics affects us all, and we need to have a space to process feelings surrounding their impact. Everyone values different things, and I respect that. Part of the beauty of getting to vote is getting to hear more ideas and collaborating together, utilizing ideas and voices from all walks of life to share how we all want to work towards our shared goals.
In my years of talking with a variety of people about their deepest values and opinions, most of us want the same thing: world peace with healthy happy neighbors and the resources to enjoy life as possible. We just have different ideas about how to create that world. Chances are, we won’t see that end goal in our lifetimes, but I know we won’t find it by embracing hatred and blaming others. That sounds like the worst school group project from our collective nightmares to be honest. By leaning into curiosity, working together, recognizing the root our own feelings and taking responsibility for healing, recognizing the inherent value in every life experience, actively practicing empathy and caring for each other, and keeping our end goals in mind, we can walk further down the path towards our ideal future each and every day.
