Anxiety Gives a False Sense of Control

My overly anxious folks are often surprised when I tell them at some level, they find the worry they engage in protective. But how can something that causes so much stress be helpful? Well, Joseph Joubert shares a big piece of that dynamic: "When one has too great a dread of what is impending, one feels some relief when the trouble has come." When one worries, it can feel like being able to control bad outcomes. Anxiety can at some level make you feel bad, so that when hardship actually hits, it doesn’t catch you off guard. That’s quite simply why people stay stuck in a state of ruminating over all of the things that could go wrong - they don’t want to risk being hopeful and then hurt while vulnerable. In therapy, changing that pattern often takes time because it takes courage and confidence that even if they are struck with misfortune in the future, they are capable of handling it. It takes feeling motivated enough to let go of self-protective dynamics in favor of embracing the risk of being happy. How much of your time is worrying about getting hurt worth?

"When one has too great a dread of what is impending, one feels some relief when the trouble has come."

~ Joseph Joubert