Armored Shame

To be vulnerable means to be more at-risk of being harmed. It’s easy to recognize physical vulnerability, but with emotional vulnerability it is harder to understand where the threat is coming from. Hint hint, the danger is coming from inside the house. Brené Brown is a well-known author, speaker, and professor who studies shame, and in her book Dare to Lead, she shares this insight: “What makes embracing vulnerability feel the most terrifying is how taking off the armor and exposing our hearts can open us up to experiencing shame. Our egos are willing to keep our hearts encased in armor, no matter the cost, if we can avoid feeling ‘less than’ or unworthy of love and belonging.” She goes onto describe how the armor doesn’t actually end up being that effective, and that it makes us even more at-risk of feeling that shame. This is where therapy is helpful, because it gives a dedicated safe space to practice taking off the armor and it gives a warm authentic relationship to practice being vulnerable within.

“What makes embracing vulnerability feel the most terrifying is how taking off the armor and exposing our hearts can open us up to experiencing shame. Our egos are willing to keep our hearts encased in armor, no matter the cost, if we can avoid feeling ‘less than’ or unworthy of love and belonging.”

~ Dare to Lead, by Brené Brown