Healing Others by Healing Yourself

I was re-reading Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, by Lindsay Gibson, and was struck by a sentence she wrote, “Fortunately, once you start listening to your emotions instead of shutting them down, they will guide you toward an authentic connection with others.” It struck me because people often wonder how they can improve their relationships with others when they can’t get them to join them in therapy.

As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I certainly know that there is real progress that can be made when multiple people enter a therapy office, focused on improving their relationship. However, relational improvement still happens when even just one person focuses on healing themselves. By being aware and honest with our feelings, our connections with each other are more vulnerable, real, and intimate. Even just when one person opens themselves up in that way, it encourages emotional safety in both and often prompts the other to make space for their feelings too. You can’t force a horse to drink, but by leading the way emotionally, you can lead them to the water, even showing them that it is fine by drinking it yourself.

“Fortunately, once you start listening to your emotions instead of shutting them down, they will guide you toward an authentic connection with others.”

~ Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, by Lindsay Gibson