IFS = Radical Self-Compassion

I often use Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy in the work that I do, and so I spend a lot of time having to explain what it looks like and how to think about it, because the model is radical in many ways. Within IFS, we view minds as naturally being multiple. For example, perhaps a part of us wants eggs in the morning, thinking about how it gives us protein and helps us meet our fitness goals, another part is tired and doesn’t want to do the dishes thinking that eggs sound exhausting to make, and then some part of us remembers the meeting later in the day with our boss that is scaring us. All of us think like this in some form or another. What is radical about IFS is how every one of these parts are cherished and honored.

Richard Schwartz, the creator of IFS, wrote this in his book for the average person, No Bad Parts: “Even the most destructive parts have protective intentions”, “Parts are often frozen in past traumas when their extreme roles were needed”, and “When they trust it’s safe to step out of their roles, they are highly valuable to the system.” He is saying that every aspect of ourselves is lovable, worthy of our compassion, and born from a space of protection. It is so easy to pause and try to argue with that statement because we’ve often been taught to hate and try to get rid of the “worst parts” of ourselves. I pose to you, what would it feel like to love every part of yourself? How much is that love and acceptance worth to you?

“Even the most destructive parts have protective intentions”

~ No Bad Parts, by Richard Schwartz