Closing the Curtains on Positivity
How Much Light We Prefer in Our Lives and the Differences Between Us
Positivity is sometimes like a window. Depending on where you are at in life, it can be really nice to look out the window and see the sunshine and scenery. Sometimes, you don’t want to see everything and want to feel cozy in your room. That can be like how positivity at times is nice, but we don’t always want to see the bright side. It is heathy and okay to want to spend some time in the darkness, there with you and your thoughts.
Often people come to therapy wanting to “get rid of bad thoughts” and idolize feeling happy and positive all of the time. It isn’t realistic and may not even be what they truly want because the hard feelings are important to feel. Bad stuff happens to all of us, and to ignore it would feel dismissive of ourselves, maybe even invalidating of our own pain. If we are truly honoring ourselves, it is meaningful to sit with the hurt, as we would comfort a child, and show that care towards ourselves.
So, what most people feel is healthy is a balance. They long for more control over when and how long they stay in the darkness versus when they look outside into the light. They want window coverings!
You might feel healthiest with blinds, where you get small doses of positivity daily, leading to you overall feeling light. You might shut the blinds during hard times in life, and you can peak through to get a brighter view specifically when you need it. This might look like including small joys in life, like desserts, favorite TV shows, beloved music artists, and texts with friends. Those little glimpses of light help life feel happier, even when the big changes don’t happen.
Some people prefer curtains. They might let in a little light through them, but you don’t see the specifics outside; I would compare this to a general trust that things will be okay, or some people feel this way with faith. Then in a grand gesture, you can open the curtains to see everything in full view. This might look like taking a vacation, going camping, attending a concert, or enjoying a large experience of pleasure. It almost resets and makes one feel invigorated. It reminds you of the positivity out there and sticks in your mind longer because of how stunning the view is.
Now I compared keeping the blinds or curtains closed to staying in darkness. But there is still a sense of comfort at times being at home, enjoying privacy, and reflecting on everything within. The things you house in your mind are like your belongings. Sometimes, your house may get cluttered with junk. At other times, it is full of small memories and treasures gifted to you. Therapy can help clear some stuff out, but we want to still honor what it represents and the story around it. Pain shouldn’t be cleared out mindlessly. The story deserves to be heard, and it helps shape the home that a person has resided in. Your home is your home, and it carries with it a lot of feelings. The same goes for the home in your head, carrying all of those memories and feelings.
Now, are the views in these pictures just IKEA displays, absolutely (thanks IKEA in Tempe Arizona for the inspiration). However, consider your relationship with positivity and your mind’s darkness the next time you look at a window. Maybe it will prompt looking for more light, or noticing the stories held within. Either way, it leads to healing.
