Preventing Holiday Relapse

Supporting Those with Addictions and Eating Disorders During Festivities

The holiday season can be rough for a lot of people. Not only it is hard on our wallets, but we generally have a lot more interactions with family. Now family can be one of the biggest sources of support a person can have, but it is also one of the biggest sources of stress for most people. Then, even if one’s family is quite enjoyable, the season is filled with more events, and the culture around the holiday season tends to promote indulgence. For some, like those with addiction histories, or those that have struggled with disordered eating, that indulgence can feel dangerous.

I by no means seek to shame anyone for having treats. I think it is very healthy to enjoy what life has to offer, partaking in delicious delights that excite the senses. However, for those that have a difficult relationship with alcohol or food, it often creates an environment filled with tension.

The tension I am describing is the internal one a person might face when they’ve had a relationship with alcohol or food where they feel out of control. It isn’t even the amount necessarily consumed, but the behavior and feelings around it. Trying to heal from such tendencies is notably hard, even from a therapist’s standpoint. Often a person can think they’ve fully healed, but it can be easy to do so when you control what you surround yourself with. When at parties, you aren’t in control. You can find yourself staring at a symbol of your greatest hardships.

At parties, it can be hard to avoid those elements like eggnog or a platter of desserts. Many celebrations center themselves around eating or drinking together as a way to bond over life’s treasures. So this can leave those dealing with addiction feeling alone and at heightened risk of falling into a cycle of relapse and shame.

So how can you support reducing stress for those who struggle with eating disorders or alcoholism during the holidays? Connect with them over other activities. As children we have an easy time celebrating sober, but we often veer away from fun activities that make it easy for everyone to enjoy staying connected. Think making crafts, watching movies, playing board games, going outside to make a snowman, etc.

As far as helping someone who has a strained relationship with food, it is more about making the situation less tense in general. You won’t really know what stresses each individual person out, so you really just want to give options. So having multiple activities to participate in, various areas to be seated, buffet-style or serve yourself eating options, and generally an unscheduled event helps to give as much control as possible to each individual person there. That way if something makes them stressed, they can move onto something else unnoticed.

If you are that person who gets tense, worried about relapsing back into bad habits, falling into a hole that is hard to climb out of, then notice what triggers you. Come prepared and put your comfort first. Give yourself as many choices as possible. That might mean driving separately to allow yourself to leave early if needed. Perhaps that is bringing a drink or dish to ensure you have something suitable for your palate. You may even choose to be the party babysitter to help hold yourself accountable and give yourself something to focus on.

Prioritize making the holidays as enjoyable as you can, and maybe even suggest some activities to make the day feel better. By actively contributing, you are able to have more of a say in creating an event that will be remembered fondly.