Door Shopping
A Metaphor About Choosing a Therapist
I was walking through my local Home Depot (on Baseline Rd. and Country Club Dr., so just a mile or so away from my office), and I noticed the many doors just lined up, ready to be bought. It made me think of the process of finding a therapist.
When you finally decide that you want therapy, it can be a little intimidating with all of the options out there! Similar to the selections at Home Depot with doors, there are so many options that it can be hard to figure out what you want.
Finding a therapist, in a way, is choosing how to open up your emotional world. You are figuring out which way will actually get you to open up, either to let the bad out, or to let the good in, and also how you want that process to feel like. Like choosing a door, you want one that actually works, but you also want one that feels right for your home. So choosing a door is an important task, and so is finding a therapist.
When you see all of the doors, you might first find which ones you are drawn to and which ones give you a good feeling. This can be similar to finding a therapist, in that at first, we might just see which photos draw our attention, and then we notice which ones write in a way that make us feel good.
Then, you might realize that there are certain specifications that you need to make sure the door fits, because otherwise it won’t actually open and close properly. For therapy, this might look like finding an in-person therapist vs online, one actually close to you, one with availability, or one with similar values (like neurodivergent affirming, religious or non-religious, LGBTQ+ welcoming, etc). Like making sure a door fits, it is really important to check to make sure that a therapist fits with what you need. This is why I, and most therapists, offer a free consultation in order to make sure that it is a good fit before starting together.
Lastly, you generally are looking for a door that you can afford, and that is good value. There are some amazing doors out there, top quality, beautiful, with extra bells and whistles. But not everyone can afford those doors, and they don’t need all the extras. However, you do want a decent door. One that is ugly, hollow, and flimsy will make you never want to use it out of fear of it falling apart, and it will make you ashamed to look at it, wishing that you never bought it in the first place.
Affording a therapist is really similar. You want a therapist that you are able to afford, but not one so cheap that you aren’t getting a good experience. When opening yourself up, it is important to pick quality. Just like doors, sometimes you can get a good door at a lower price, but it can be a gamble. Sometimes good therapists offer discounted rates (like I do!), to make their services more accessible, so be sure to ask. Ultimately, remember that when you are seeking out a therapist, you are investing in yourself, to get the bad stuff out and allow the good stuff in, and that YOU are never a bad investment.
