Being Present Invites Happiness

Being present is one of the most important skills one can gain through the course of therapy. It might look like mindfulness, using grounding skills, paying attention to one’s body, or even just being fully immersed in a conversation with the person in front of you. That is all practicing being present. Dale Carnegie shares in a beautiful metaphor about why this is so important: "One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today." When you aren’t present, you aren’t living. Life doesn’t exist in the future or the past, that is all in our minds. The only time that actually exists is the one we are living, moment to moment. So, when you are so distracted by what-ifs, playing back moments where might’ve made a mistake, worrying, planning out the future, you miss out on the opportunities that are right in front of you. Happiness is only felt in the present. We might gain a glimmer of joy thinking about something from our past that we delighted in, or we feel good as we envision a future, but what those are really doing is just reminding us of how happiness feels. In those pleasant memories, we were fully engaged, truly in the moment. If you want more of those, you need to be more present, making future memories worthy of reflection.

"One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today."

~ Dale Carnegie