Choosing a Walking Partner

Many people seek out therapy to figure out if they should stay with someone they are in a relationship with. Frankly, a therapist doesn’t know the answer, because the only person who can know is the person living the life, deciding upon what is worth their time and energy. However, I find that some wisdom from Antoine de Saint-Exupery helps provide some guidance about the longevity of a relationship: "Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." See, many people can fall in love with the sight of each other. There are so many things to adore when we truly know our fellow man! Honestly, I love every soul I come to know throughout the process of therapy. However, the longevity of a relationship depends both on loving the other person, and the life you wish to build with them at your side. Often people can love each other, and the relationship not work, because they have different destinations they want to get to in their life. Sometimes you both can reach your goals, even if they are different, but sometimes those goals are in direct conflict with each other. Smaller choices can be given up for the sake of the relationship, and they may not impact the relationship strongly, but when large life decisions are given up, sacrificed in the name of the relationship, resentment, grief, loss, and an imbalance is created. Those feelings can significantly hurt the health of a relationship. So, if you are ever left pondering if a relationship is meant to last, look to see if your lives are moving towards the same destination, and if you both are happy to simply walk together as you journey there.

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery