Obsessing After Betrayal

Many people come to therapy in distress because someone betrayed them or lied to them, and they obsess over finding the truth or understanding why. Therapy tends to take a step back, and asks you to start within, because like Rickson Gracie shares, "The search for truth begins in your heart." To really get to a point to see the truth, you need to understand why you are looking for it. Often, it is out of a desire to prevent us from ever feeling hurt again. We delude ourselves into thinking that if we had just known more, been smarter, had seen the signs, we wouldn’t have been deceived in such a way. Sure, maybe in reflecting afterwards, we can see some obvious red flags, but in reality, we can only do the best we can with what knowledge and resources we have at the time. And the harsh reality is that we will never be all knowing and have all of the resources we need to never be betrayed. Therapy helps because it aims that obsessive desire to understand inwards, to a place where we can know all, and we heal that wound so we can feel safe engaging in a world that might hurt us again, and we develop the confidence that we’ve grown more capable of overcoming whatever challenges come our way in the future.

"The search for truth begins in your heart."

~ Rickson Gracie