Unique Perspectives are Wanted

People-leasers have a tendency to try to match those around them. Sometimes that is on purpose, and sometimes they don’t even think about it, they just soak up the person that they are with and carry their same mannerisms and perspectives. This is usually done out of a desire to be liked or accepted in some way. However, like Confucius puts it, "I do not want a friend who smiles when I smile, who weeps when I weep; for my shadow in the pool can do better than that." Differences and occasional conflicts are preferable to experience. They help us learn, grow, and help create movement in the world around us. So, when we have a friend who shares a new perspective, or who opens our eyes to a new experience, it is exciting in a way. Obviously, stopping people pleasing takes more than just deciding to no longer do it, but I share this thought in order to help reduce those internal fears that keep people-pleasing around. It’s more than just disagreements will be okay, but that they are appreciated at some level within others. What makes you different is what attracts people to you and keeps them around - past experiences that suggest otherwise reflect the character of the people you’ve been around rather than the merit of standing out itself.

"I do not want a friend who smiles when I smile, who weeps when I weep; for my shadow in the pool can do better than that."

~ Confucius